How can I become lost
On a path I’ve walked so many times before?
How can things seem so different
When they are oh so familiar?
Sometimes, I feel betrayed
By the ones I thought loved me the most
Even though they stab me in my chest
I often wonder if it would have felt better in the back
I’m playing myself, like a deck of cards
Dealing, and dealing, and dealing
Never cashing in my chips
Never getting what I thought was mine to begin with
Dragging me, you laugh
As though you take everything in your world for granted
As if I’ll always be here, always
Never to show my real face and scratch your perfect complexion
But why do I feel so guilty?
As if I’m to blame for every little nick and bruise
No matter how many times I shun your name
I catch myself calling it in my dreams
My head is throbbing with ideas, thoughts
The pain is unbearable and I’d like to give it to you
But you know I never would, never could
Hurt you again, as I have so many times before
So. With a slap on the ass
I choose a smile to decorate my face
And, just this one last time (as I’ve said thirty hundred times before)
I’ll stand on stage and play my part ~ perfectly.